Didn't Think They'd Hurt You
by Carina Frost
Summary: When Mello needs someone to lean on his beloved L is not there. Instead Matt comes to comfort him. Rated T for a little bit of language.


**-Spoilers for chapter 58, and it basically foreshadows the first half of chapter 60. **

-The last line is a reference to chapter 99, but no spoiler.

-don't own Death Note

-In the manga the one thing that annoyed me was how Mello freaked out when he heard that L died, and then it skipped a few years to when he was working with those mafia dudes. And I think that Mello freaked out a lot more than it showed in the manga, because I like to think of Mello adoring L. Yeah, he's a creepy stalker obsessed weirdo when it comes to L. …then again, I am too.

* * *

The Kira case. It had claimed various lives, some innocent, and others not. But it wasn't about the deaths anymore. It was about the fact that a killer was gaining respect from citizens through means of death. Whoever it was, was swiftly claiming themselves as a king.

One of the more innocent lives that Kira had claimed was a detective. A unique one. But this detective's death did not only affect the detective case. It had managed to affect those he grew up with. It affected his friends.

A young man by the alias, L, had died in the progress of this case.

Back in London, at the House where L grew up, resided the man who took care of the orphans. Rodger. Rodger had received news of L's death immediately after it occurred. He was the first to receive word. And the duty fell upon his shoulders, now, to inform L's successors of the stroke of poor luck that had taken place. But in the long run, that night would cost the house three of their cherished orphans.

Mello and Near were two young boys, both with a strong ambition and equal determination. The only difference was their motives. Mello wanted to follow in the steps of his beloved L the one person he admired above all else. Near, on the other hand, was out to do justice. And he was good at what he did. Being the smartest in the orphanage, he was content. As long as he was the best he would remain satisfied. But Rodger already knew both of their reactions to the news.

His knowledge proved right. As soon as the words left his lips, Mello went up in a fist of fury. He had stormed off to his room, to either lock himself away from the world, or to pack his bags and leave. The poor boy. Rodger thought Mello had great ambition, but this incident would either cut it down, or fire him up. Rodger did not place himself close to any students on purpose. Comforting was not his job. That was part of life this orphanage taught them. How to live.

Near was more indifferent than anything. Near would take in facts as just that. Facts. He didn't like to let feelings get in the way. The news of L's death only meant that Near was going to replace him. Near could handle L's death. He understood what it meant, and the dangers it presented. Yes, it was a sad loss, but Near had to fulfill his duties. Near was easier to predict than Mello. Near was constant.

With one day passed, Near was functioning normally, getting ready to uptake L's job in Japan. It had only been twenty four hours since he heard of the tragedy, but he was quick to mobilize. Mello on the other hand, was having a difficult time processing the idea that L was not to return. And Rodger could not have Mello give up. Not now. He had to give Mello inspiration. A vengeance.

One full day and Mello had not exited his room. Not even for chocolate. Then again, he probably had some stashed away somewhere. He was always thinking ahead. Mello had not come in contact with anyone in the house since Rodger told him exactly what happened. But Rodger still had to overlook Near as he got together with some other detectives and started to form a group against Kira.

Rodger did not want Mello falling behind at such a critical time.

Rodger had to help Near, who was obviously ready to go out and take part in finding Kira, but he couldn't place as much attention on Mello as he needed. One idea that Rodger had was to ask Mello's close friend Matt to help. But that would mean explaining everything to Matt, something Watari had informed him to avoid. But Watari wasn't around to make choices anymore. It was Rodger who could make this decision.

It took only five minutes to locate Mello's friend. He was in the library playing his gameboy, which came as no surprise. Matt's love of video games enveloped the majority of his time. But Matt was a good kid overall.

"Matt, if you please, come with me." Rodger asked Matt the question. The child obeyed, wondering why Rodger had a heavy tone. Did something happen? He defiantly noticed that Mello hadn't been around last night, or all of yesterday. Matt couldn't find him anywhere. As he started to put two and two together he became nervous.

"Something happen?" He tried to be casual about it as to release the stress Rodger was obviously feeling. Matt's thoughts went unanswered.

Rodger guided Matt into his office and sat down. It was just like when he told Near and Mello. The room felt curious, yet clearly ominous. The only difference between that time and now was that now he had a different goal in mind. He had assumed Mello was alone and hurt. Rodger knew he was not the one to give Mello the inspiration he needed. That was a friends duty.

"As you know L has been working on a case in Japan."

Has been? Isn't he working on it now? Matt didn't question it this time and let Rodger continue.

"The details of this case haven't been revealed to anyone in this house except Mello, Near, and myself." Rodger took a pause, choosing his words correctly. "The case involves a killer, someone with a divine power, able to kill at his or her own will with only the need of a person's face, and their name. They have been eliminating criminals, but this is an act against police. This person, who we nicknamed Kira, is giving himself power. That is why L left. He went to find out who it was that is rising above the police."

Matt nodded, waiting to find out what was so horrible.

"Please don't reveal the case to anyone else." Rodger said before he continued. He took a deep breath. He actually wasn't sure how Matt would respond. He didn't know of Matt's relationship with L, but he did know of Matt's relationship with Mello, and that was all that counted now.

"But the reason I'm telling you this is because L has died."

Matt knew exactly what was going on now. Now he could easily figure out why Mello hadn't been around. Mello had been excited for the day L returned, a hero. He talked about it all the time. He _had_ been excited, just like L _had_ been working on the case. But there were no more of either of these. No more L, and no more hope for Mello. And Mello had just locked himself in his room, hoping for it to be okay. Where else did he have to hide?

Matt stood up. "Then I need to go." He told Rodger. Matt had to give something to Mello now. Mello had never failed to help Matt whenever he needed someone.

Rodger nodded. "Please do."

Matt stepped outside the office, and made his way to the outside. It was dark, a little bit after dusk. But it had been dark all day, since it had been cloudy. They had said rain all week but it held off until what seemed like right now. The air was heavy. If it was with water or grief, he could not tell. Matt trotted eagerly to Mello's room.

Mello's room was on the first floor. He was one of the intelligent children so he got the better room. The ones on the upper floors were smaller and took longer to get to. Matt liked to sneak into Mello's room through the window. It was their ritual. When Matt knocked on the window outside Mello always let him in. Matt knew Mello didn't like people banging at his door. When he couldn't see who it was he didn't open the door. It was just a simple pet peeve that Mello had.

Matt approached the window to his room. The window was low enough for Matt to climb up the wall to the windowsill. He would sit on the stones which held the window in place. He was always good at climbing and getting into things he shouldn't. Looking in Mello's room, Matt found just what he had expected to find. Mello. But he was sitting against a wall, with his head drooping, hair in his face, and his body limped sadly as if he wasn't interested in investing energy to hold himself up. In one of his hands he held an unopened chocolate bar. His hand was gripped tightly around it. His other hand was clenched in a fist. Matt had never seen Mello cry. He couldn't see his eyes though. They were lost behind his mess of hair. He didn't want Mello to cry. Mello was strong. Mello was someone Matt aimed to be.

Matt knocked softly on the window. Mello did not respond. He didn't even look up. Matt knew that he was the only one who would contact Mello though this window method, so Mello could only assume it to be Matt. Matt looked up as the rain, which had been holding off all week now softly touched the ground, breathing moisture onto it. Matt didn't mind the rain. Matt didn't mind getting wet. He didn't knock on the window again. The rain did that for him.

"Mello, it's raining." Matt told the closed window. He could not open it from the outside. Or at least, he wouldn't open it unless Mello permitted it. He was sure that Mello could hear Matt's warped voice through the glass.

Mello didn't move. He was far too busy thinking. He didn't want anyone to intrude now. He only wanted to be near L. Mello had always been stubborn, and this only made his attitude twice as stubborn. He wasn't going to change now. Mello wasn't going to talk to anyone. Not unless it was L.

"Go away." Was Mello's demand, his head still bowed against his knees.

Matt, still perched on the windowsill like a bird, did not move. He wasn't going to obey Mello in his denial. The dampness of the water which soaked his clothes pulled him down. But he was there to help bring Mello up. Matt would not move. He had perched himself on the windowsill and would stay on the windowsill until he got inside. "No. You've never said that to me before. I'm not gonna let you now." Matt was determined to get in.

Mello remained silent. Matt didn't mind that much. As long as he knew Matt was there he would stay outside the window for as long as it took.

After seven minutes of silence (besides the rain) Matt sneezed. He shook himself off, and the lose water flew away, only to be replaced by more from the downpour. If he realized it or not, he was getting sick. Matt looked at the unmoving Mello. "Mello what's up with you? The last time you did something this extreme was when Near won in that contest yo-"

This caught his attention. Mello looked up at Matt. No, Mello glared at Matt. But this was something Matt was trying to accomplish. Begging in Mello's presence was not something that got you anywhere. Sometimes you had to get Mello angry to get what you wanted. Matt was starting to realize how weird his friend was.

After a few moments of the Mello glare, Matt asked "Can I come in now?" Mello sighed, and waved his hand, a signal for Matt to enter.

Matt began working, fiddling with the locks on the window and the slippery hinges. His fingers slid against the glass, almost losing his stability, but Matt had a way with balance. Once the glass window could be pushed open, Matt leaned against it, and dropped himself onto Mello's floor, leaving a puddle of water on the floor where he first landed. He closed the window before he interfered with his friend. No one wanted rain water on the wooden floor.

He lightly walked over to the small blond haired boy, trailing wet footprints behind him. He threw his back against the wall and slid down, sitting next to Mello. Sometimes words were not necessary. All Matt needed to do was place an arm around Mello's back.

Mello looked up. Matt was right. He hadn't cried. His jaw was clenched. A damp blaze was struggling to burn in his eyes. He was a mess. Matt sneezed again.

They stared at each other for a moment, and then longer. Mello wasn't thinking. He didn't want to think about anything. He only wanted to say here. Mello didn't want anything anymore. Matt wasn't smiling. He wasn't frowning. He was trying to be strong, just like Mello had always been for him. He wasn't the best at playing Mello's part but, like hell he was determined to try.

"I let Near take L's place." He admitted after they had a silent conversation with their eyes.

"Then you do still have a head." Matt knocked his knuckles against the side of Mello's head, letting him know he was still sensible in that friendly way. "You don't need to be L to win at anything. You just have to be Mello." Matt believed this thought, if it was for comfort or not. Matt thought of Mello as Mello thought of L.

Mello dropped his head into his knees, which were pulled up against his chest. He sighed, but it did not relieve any pain. "Kira did it." Mello's voice sounded far away, probably for the fact that his voice was being thrown into his own body.

"Then Kira sucks." Matt concluded for Mello.

"No." Mello raised his head again. "It means that L was weaker than Kira."

"Hey, don't think like that." Matt said. Matt's arm was still around Mello, getting his back wet. He pulled Mello close to him, and Mello's head relaxed on Matt's shoulder. "You should know that L did his best. You should know that L was loyal to his friends and his goal. L was- no L is someone that you can look up to." If Matt was speaking about what he _really_ thought he would have replaced the name L with Mello. Matt believed that Mello was just as good at L.

"I can really look up to him? To someone dead?" Mello asked, happy to finally be able to lean on someone else. It was something he rarely did. But he was still unsure about so many things.

"Sure you can." Matt said, not exactly knowing what he meant.

Mello's head was wet with rain water that had found its way into Matt's vest, but he kept leaning on him. Matt kept his hand on his friends back. "I don't get it." Mello said.

"You don't have to." Matt replied. Matt looked over his friend. How long had Mello been sitting here? He seemed pale and shaken up, but who wouldn't? Mello sighed and sat up again, taking his weight off Matt. Matt sneezed again.

"Are you going to eat that?" Matt asked Mello, pointing to the melted chocolate bar. Mello picked it up and stared at it. Then he threw it into Matt's lap. Mello seemed really confused.

"Good." Matt said. He opened it and broke off a square of melted chocolate. He held it in front of Mello's face. "You sure you don't want any?" Matt knew what Mello was thinking- even if he gave the answer no.

Mello turned his head away. "Leave me alone. I'm not hungry." The words didn't just reject the chocolate. They seemed to reject Matt's company too. Matt knew Mello probably wanted to stand strong on his own, but he had let Matt come in his room and comfort him. It was something he hadn't planned on, and relying on someone else didn't show independence. And anyone that knew Mello knew independence.

Matt stood up in front of Mello. It didn't seem like being soft with him was working. Matt knew his friend too well. There were times when you were rough with Mello, and times when you were soft. When the gentle times failed you had to be tough.

Matt shoved Mello's shoulders into the wall. His head jerked upward. Matt shoved the chocolate in Mello's mouth. "You're a liar Mello." Matt said, much calmer than he acted.

"What's your problem!?" Mello asked, after roughly swallowing the chocolate. Mello stood up after Matt had roughed him up a bit. Matt knew Mello. He knew Mello just wanted to hit someone. It was the thing that would make him feel better. Matt had just volunteered himself.

"I told you to leave me alone!" It was Matt's turn to get pushed backward. "You're only here to taunt me!" Mello threw his fist out, and it collided with the shoulder Mello had been leaning against only moments ago. He aimed a kick at Matt's shin. His foot hit where he was aiming. He shoved Matt to the ground, but Matt never fought back. Then Mello's eyes dropped to the ground, as if he came to the realization of what he was doing.

"Why the hell would I do that?" Matt asked Mello. Mello backed up and sat against the wall again, as he had been doing for the past day. "Sorry." He muttered, without looking up at Matt- but his apology was significant.

"Nah." Matt rejected his apology. He picked himself up and sat down next to Mello once again. He gave Mello the chocolate, and for the second time he asked. "Now are you gonna eat that?"

Mello smiled. "You're horrible at comforting." He didn't eat the chocolate though. He just watched it, like some foreign object.

"Well, at least you seem to be feeling better." Matt replied, with slight sarcasm in his voice.

Mello was swallowed up in his own silence now. He had so many feelings all at once. He didn't know what he should be feeling now. He didn't know which ones he should be showing. He didn't know if he would ever feel better. He didn't know if he would ever accept that fact. He didn't know anything anymore. "I was waiting for him…" Mello finally admitted.

"Stop waiting. You'll never get anywhere." Matt told him. "Do something about it instead."

Mello thought of this for a moment. "But what am I gonna do?" He whispered. Matt could swear that it was the only time he heard Mello with an unsure tone in his voice in the twelve years that they knew each other.

"Get him back, Mello. Make his death worth it." Mello thought on this idea for a moment.

Mello held up something in his hand. It was the chocolate bar. Mello's favorite chocolate was Cadbury. That was the melted one in his hand. He pulled his arm back and threw it across the room, giving out a yell of anger when he did. It hit the dresser and fell to the floor with a thud. He stood up and leaned against the wall now chocolate-less. This was the Mello that Matt knew of.

"I'm going to leave here." He said.

Matt smiled sadly. "I always knew you'd say that someday."

"I'm going to join with anyone who will help me kill Kira." Mello thought out loud to himself. Mello began walking over to his bed. Matt remained sitting against the wall on the floor.

"I'm going to kill Kira, or die trying." Mello continued with a vengeance in his voice that made Matt believe it was true. He reached his bed. He hadn't slept since he found out the news of L. Or, the news of the absence of L.

"I'm going to make Kira regret ever getting his grimy hands on L." He told himself and Matt. Matt watched his friend sit down on the bed which was placed in the third best room in the house. Matt knew now that Mello was going to be alright.

"I'm going to win." Mello kicked off his shoes and lay down, still in his clothes.

Matt smiled. Listening to Mello was what Mello wanted. He knew that without ever asking him. Matt always knew what Mello wanted.

"I hate Kira." Mello closed his eyes, and unlike before, now he easily fell asleep.

Matt stood up, and watched Mello for a moment. He knew he was serious when he said he was leaving. Matt wasn't going to deny the truth. All he could do was either leave with Mello, or aid him on if he ever asked for it. Maybe Matt would do both.

Matt found the chocolate that Mello threw before. He took the melted one from the damp floor. When you have to deal with Mello as much as Matt did, it was wise to carry an extra chocolate bar around with you. That way, if Mello had something you wanted you could bribe him with it. So Matt took the fresh bribing chocolate from inside his vest. Cadbury. Mello's favorite. But now he was going to bribe Mello to work harder with this chocolate. He was bribing his friend to be alright. He placed it on the floor, right where the melted chocolate was.

Matt took his vest off, and walked over to his friend. It wasn't much, but it kept Matt warm. He placed it over Mello's shoulders. It was still damp with rain water. He was sure Mello wouldn't mind that much.

If someone was going to get vengeance, it was going to be Mello. Not Near, not anyone else. Matt would help Mello if he ever asked for it. He felt it was his duty. He would not let Mello come to the same fate as L, even if it meant dying in the process. Matt promised himself that he would give his life for his friend if Kira ever interfered. No doubt about it. Matt was loyal to the end.

He left the same way he entered. Through the window. It was still raining, and it pounded against the windows as if someone was knocking. Matt easily swung it open, and jumped up to the wet windowsill. He could see Mello lying on the bed, pulling the wet vest closer around his body. It must have been subconscious since Mello was fast asleep.

Matt was about to pull the window shut, when he peered in on Mello's room one last time. Kira had hurt Mello. By killing L he had hurt Mello, without even knowing it. It wasn't fair. Kira had no idea who he was tormenting. He had no idea who he was asking to come after him either. Matt felt Mello's sorrow in that one moment. He turned to leave, but right before he finally closed the window he said one last thing to his sleeping Mello.

With only a quite voice left he said, "…Mello. I didn't think they'd hurt you...I'm sorry."

* * *


End file.
